and I heard him say
that she had the longest, blackest hair
the prettiest green eyes anywhere

to everyone asking my ex if I’m “going back to boys”/general PSA

a few things

1. I hate you. 

2. If I date a boy now (or ever) it is not going ‘back.’ It is moving on, moving forward. I am always moving forward.

3. Dating (or whatever) boys is not a demotion, not a regression, not a revocation of my queerness. Check your biphobia. Here, Anna Paquin will help you: http://www.autostraddle.com/true-bloods-anna-paquin-valiantly-attempts-to-explain-bisexuality-to-larry-king-248292/

4. My queerness exists outside of who I fuck, who I date, who I’m crushing on. My queerness is inside me and has nothing to do with anyone else. 

5. Bisexuals are not just straight people on vacation. The  four years I spent in a relationship was not a “phase” or some fluke or something I thought would just be a fun way to spend my time. It is insulting, trivializing, and disrespectful to me and my relationship to suggest that it was. And yes, you are doing this by asking if I’m going “back to boys.”

6. Bisexuality also doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to alternate relationships by gender?? Please get a clue. 

7. Not your fucking business. You’re a (straight or gay) monosexual and everything is simple and predictable for you. Super. Being queer or bisexual is different. Don’t understand queerness and/or bisexuality? Not my problem. You don’t get to ask invasive questions about people’s personal lives for your own entertainment or education, especially when you’re not even asking the person directly. 

In case anyone was fucking wondering. 

I’m just thinking about how so often people say that other people always let you down or disappoint you, but other people also always continue to amaze me with their resiliency, strength, and power. Re-thinking the capacity in all of us. It is so much greater than we realize. 

It’s Hard Out Here For a Femme

It’s Hard Out Here For a Femme


Illustration from Scarlet Tentacle

Some of us cringe when we use qualifiers to explain our femme identity, or cringe when we try to drop the qualifier, knowing how it sounds to most other people.I know saying “I’m femme, but…” or using labels like “hard femme” or “aggressive femme” feels good for some femmes, but for me it always just sounds like placating to the standard definition of femininity…

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This Misogynist Moment I: She’s a Cool Girl

This Misogynist Moment (So Different and So New): A Collection of Moments When I Realized Men in My Life Are Misogynist…

As far as possible, I avoid “coming out” or using any sort of label to explain myself, for a few reasons. Coming out stories make me roll my eyes. So you’ve been “out” for 10 years? What, does that make you realer than me? Queerer than me? 

I tell friends and family when I’m dating someone important, but I’ve never sat anyone down and explained that I don’t identify, and why that’s a deliberate choice. I don’t explain that I don’t use the word “bisexual” because it usually means becoming suspect, or not being taken seriously. I don’t explain that using the words “lesbian,” “gay,” or “queer” makes me feel like an impostor, or somehow disconnected. I don’t say that I really only say “g-a-y” when I’m trying to make it perfectly clear that I’m not into you. I don’t explain that I say “dyke” when I really mean “fuck off.” I don’t say “I fall on a spectrum” because there is no sliding scale of queerness.

I use different words in different situations, which really goes to show that they’re not for me, they’re for you, so that you feel sure of what I am or how you should relate to me. But, I don’t want you to feel sure. I don’t give a shit if you’re confused. And I don’t want to be part of your club. You think you know me now, because I gave you a word? Can you trust me now? Don’t bother.

I will never trust anyone who says they’re a “guy’s girl”

In Defense of Summer (And Manic Pixie Dream Girls everywhere)

The writer behind the term “Manic Pixie Dream Girl” called for us all to stop using the phrase, and even apologized for ever inventing it, in…

Just taking a moment to appreciate femmeness and all the lovely femmes that I am so lucky to know. You make my world better. 


if you have to preface a statement with “I don’t want you to think I’m transphobic, but…”

then you probably shouldn’t be saying it

can straight girls please stop calling their friends “girlfriends”

you are confusing me

I am so fucking sick of street harassment.

You’re so brave in your car. Next time, I will gladly run into the street just so I can scratch PIG into your paint, or pepper spray your creepy, misogynist face, asshole. 

I like how things that were ‘ugly’ about me as a child, like curly hair and freckles, are things I completely embrace now
today my co-worker told me that an open wound and a menstruating vagina are basically the same

After someone cut themselves pretty badly and it became pretty clear that blood makes me feel ill, she says “what do you do when you’re on your period then? It’s the same thing.”

"No it isn’t. It’s the injury, and the wound, and the fear of infection that bothers me."

"…it’s basically the same thing."  


why do people think saying “derp” or “derpy” is any less offensive than saying “retarded”?
is anyone else really annoyed the Real L Word used ‘Rebel Girl’ for its trailer? Bikini Kill is not background music, especially for your trashy reality TV show! UGH
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